Not sure if it’s the stress that has been unconsciously been adding up inside me or just that I get defensive over the choices I made as a mum or both, but D and I had a “long overdue” disagreement.
A little background:
Basically it started with one of the nurses telling me that I should bring the most recent EBM (no need to freeze, chilled is fine since it can be kept for 2 days), rather than those which are a few days old. She said that this will be more beneficial for our baby, since the milk is fresh and hasn’t lost much of its nutrients. The nurse also suggested that the “older” frozen milk can be used later on when our lil’ one is discharged and back home with us.
I tried to explain to her that there is no space in my mum’s fridge to store the “older” milk; that we aren’t staying at our own place right now (the nurse thought it odd that I store my EBM in my mum’s fridge) and that I will try to bring the freshest frozen EBM the next time.
Neither can I just chill my milk as the middle compartment is filled with foodstuff. Besides I feel the temperature will not be optimal to keep the milk fresh for even those 48 hours, as the fridge door is opened and closed frequently throughout the day. So I decided the best place for now is to store my EBM in the freezer. I reckon a few days’ old frozen milk will still be better than milk that may go bad ‘cos of the constant opening and closing of the fridge door.
Although I express 7 times daily, but in recent weeks, I have to throw away most of the milk and only store the EBM twice a day. In the beginning, TJ would still drink the EBM, but his tastebuds have changed again and he doesn’t like the taste anymore, so I can’t just depend on him to dwindle the milk supply to make more space in the freezer.
While I was busy explaining my situation to her, and she giving me advice on what I should do, D interjected with the “I told you so” remarks that really irritated me. I think I shot him an icy stare at one point but it was hard for the full power of the stare to take effect when I had the mask over half my face.
I would expect D to understand our current EBM storage situation and just felt irked that he didn’t stand on my side, or at least just keep quiet while I explained to the nurse.
As I explained to D my stand in this matter, things somehow got aggravated. I felt D didn’t exactly give me the credit for making the correct decisions for my child. On the other hand, D thought I was goading him to argue with me, so he felt it was wiser to keep quiet while I ranted. But when he kept so quiet as I tried to get him to see my point of view, I got more irritated ‘cos it seemed to me that D was indifferent to whatever explanation I had. I suppose the whole situation wouldn’t have gotten this silly if he had just said something like “I see your point.”
It is the classic case of misunderstanding and miscommunication. He say, I say. I interpret things in a particular way, and he does it in another. Even after so many years of being together, this sort of thing will still creep up on us and give us a hard time. And of course, I become defensive if people doubt what I do for my children. Maybe I will get a lil’ less uptight when our lil’ one’s situation becomes better.