Total state of inertia and coupled with being sick recently, I just didn’t feel like there was anything interesting to write about. Just wanted to spend the time to sleep and do nothing.
Doing nothing was something that I wasn’t able to do for a long while, until I met D. Yeah, he taught me that it’s ok to just chill and not do anything, just sit down and not buzz around and figuring out stuff that needs to be done, stuff that should be stuff, or imagined stuff that doesn’t care if it gets done or not. Bless that man, I felt like time was wasted if I actually sat down and realised I am not even sure what I was busy about. Now that I have TJ, I actually like to just sit down and watch him play, or just lie down beside him on the beanbag and watch tv together. Except the shows are determined by him and it is a rare treat for me if TJ didn’t fuss when I watch the current season of American Idol.
Idol… haiz, what a difference a year makes. Last year during Idol season, TJ was still not that interested in TV and I could watch all the episodes. This year, it’s just not possible. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been that much of a fan, and I can’t stay up to watch the 12 midnight repeats anymore… need to sleep.
Sleep seems to be failing me these last couple of weeks. D will say I’ve been sleeping far too much. My goal nowadays is to just sleep/nap whenever I can, ‘cos it will not be long when that will be taken away from me for some time. And it seems that I am easily awakened by D’s louder than usual snores during the night, well, at least someone else is getting some sleep. I actually feel paiseh poking him and telling him to sleep on his side, but D doesn’t just stay on his side and when he ends up sleeping on his front, the snores really irritate me. So it becomes a vicious cycle and it’s even harder to fall asleep cos I am irritated. And later in the day, I need my nap and maybe that’s why I would wake up again in the middle of the night by the incessant railway next to me. Actually, after so many years, I should have gotten used to it, but it’s only recently that my heightened sense of hearing and crappy night sleep patterns are acting up. Just hoping that this is a phase I’m going through and that I will get out of the phase asap.
TJ is also going through some kinda phase, fortunately not an everyday occurence, but when it starts, the mild boy becomes Damien from the movie, The Omen. I wish times like that would not happen during mealtimes, but when he starts to act up and throws his crying fits, I usually still speak to him in a calm voice and when I can’t seem to understand his cries and gibberish, I just have to pull him out of his Tripp Trapp and have him stand in a corner. I didn’t think I would need to use timeout that soon, but it actually works. 😉 I am just an evil mum who continues drinking her coffee and eats her toast, while the boy cries his heart out. But in between his sniffles when TJ takes a breath, I would sit in front of him, tell him I still love him and that he hasn’t been a good boy ‘cos of this and that, and ask him to come over for a hug. By then, he would have calmed down sufficiently and I would be left wondering what had triggered him off.
I think I will just go and do nothing again… and trying to stifle a yawn while I am at it.