I Don’t Understand …

why unspeakable horrible things could happen to the defenceless and innocent kids. Each time I hear about babies and kids who die, not cos of illnesses but at the hands of their caregivers, especially their mum or dad, I question, Why such evil, God? Why wasn’t it stopped? Could You not have intervene? Send one of your angels down or something?

But I suppose these are things which I just don’t understand and sometimes, it is easier to not know about such things.  ‘Cos knowing it hurts deep inside, makes me cry and makes my mind paint too vivid a picture of what happened.

I read about Baby P (more information on the Independent and Newsweek) just today. Well actually I saw the facebook page that a friend had invited me to join. I could only read a third of what Baby P went through and just couldn’t continue cos I started tearing, and this explains my current state. Very heavy hearted, I know Baby P is in a better place, and as much as I like to curse and swear at those who caused his death directly and indirectly, it doesn’t improve the situation anyway.

I just feel all kids deserve a chance, not only to do well in life, but do survive and be loved. The basic of needs. Love and Survival. Which is why this peice of information, especially the graphic depiction of every injury and abuse on Baby P, makes it so hard for me to understand why such a thing could happen to a 17-month-old boy. My God, how much pain he had gone thru’.

First thing I did when I got home was to carry TJ and hug him tight. TJ is now the same age as Baby P when he died. And how many more kids out there are going through the same  horrible things. It scares me. Lots.

I can’t watch movies in which babies/toddlers would be hurt, I just can’t do that now. Like the other day, there was this Clive Owen movie (dunno what movie) in which he left this baby on a merry-go-round and walked away, and realised some hitmen were going to shoot that baby. Clive Owen’s character raced back and fired a few shots at the railings to the merry-go-round to make it turn so that the hitmen would not be able to get a clear shot at the baby. I couldn’t take it, I just had to change channels.

I just went into TJ’s room to check if he has kicked his blanket to one side again. And just before I left, I made a promise to my sleeping son, safe in his clean cot, “I will protect you, TJ.”

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