Last week, D asked me what I want for my birthday (coming up on the 19th June) as he would have to save up for it.
I thought about it and said “Nothing. Save the cash lah since I will not be working for a year and have to depend on you.”
“For a while, a few things rattled in my mind, things that could be my b’day pressies: a Panerai watch (dunno what model), a platinum necklace to hold my wedding ring (cos the one I am wearing now is a silver Perlini’s one) , a new set of wedding bands (maybe from Cartier or Tiffany since D and I can’t wear ours anymore… we outgrew them).
However, none of the above really interests me so much that I MUST get it for this b’day. But I did tell D that he can start saving up for a new set of wedding bands though. Tentative deadline: After our kid is born and I have lost these additional pounds. 🙂
When D asked me about my b’day pressie, I actually couldn’t quite remember what my new age will be. Somehow, after 25, you just don’t want to think about the cumulative force of time. The irony is when I was in my teens, I couldn’t wait to be an adult. Still this has been quite a good life, no regrets.
Suddenly it hit me that I have known D for about a third of my life. Seven years of dating before getting married on 8 June 2002… twelve years. And I realised that the last 12 years have been a discovery or even a revamp of myself as a person. I suppose hanging out with D all these years has given me a different take on life and shaped me to become the person I am. D would say to me that I am a very different person now, as compared to when he first knew me. Frankly, I don’t quite recall what kinda person I was, or perhaps the main reason is I choose not to remember, cos there are obviously some things I rather not remember (e.g. the hideous perm I got in 1999).
And now that we are stepping into another unknown domain, parenthood, it feels like another third of my life is a big question mark all over again. I wonder if D and I will be having this talk one day, when our kids are older and say to one another, “Gee, compared to when you were 31 (or 37 for D), you are different now.”
Hopefully the changes will be good.