The Big Three-Oh

I was looking at the calendar earlier and realised that it will be just a couple of months before I reach the big three-oh. I remember when I was much younger, I had looked forward to the years of liberation and freedom (or so I thought) once I turned 21. But when that happened, I looked back fondly on those carefree and me-myself-and-I days, as I handled new responsiblities (life, finances, family etc) each day. The paradox of life…

Still I think that I have lived much better, more enjoyable, exciting and experienced a different type of freedom since I was married to D. I used to defer to my dad for counsel and decisions, and being the absolute “paranoid” dad that he is, there were lots of things which I couldn’t do (not even do the girls’ thing like stay overnight at my good friends’ place or go clubbing). I suppose the most exciting thing I did while living in his house was to learn swimming, and forged his signature so that I could donate blood during the annual blood donation drive in my college days. Although I do respect him for all the things he has done for the family, living in those days was just a routine thing. I reckon there were lots of times I wished I could break out of his control, but didn’t dare or perhaps I didn’t want to go through all that anger, argument and trouble. In those days, I had looked at my friends’ experiences and felt unhappy, envy and told myself, “When I grow up…”

These last four years, I have been trying to do as many stuff as I can, try as many things/activities, and most importantly travel as much as possible (particularly dependent on the dollars and cents). And I am glad that I have done them with D. I can’t imagine doing it with anyone else, and it has been a wonderful ride. So in part, I am catching up on lost time (what have I been doing all those years?) and now, I am creating memories and stories that D and I could tell our children and grandchildren.

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