Dear Tyler (IV)

For once in my life
I have someone who needs me
Someone I’ve needed so long
For once unafraid
I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I’ll be strong
For once I can touch
What my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew
Someone warm like you
Could make my dream come true
For once in my life
I won’t let sorrow hurt me
Not like it’s hurt me before
For once I’ve got someone
I know won’t desert me
I’m not alone anymore
For once I can say
This is mine, you can’t take it
As long as I’ve got love
I know I can make it
For once in my life
I’ve got someone who needs me

If my life is made into a musical, and I get to choose the songs which would best describe the experiences I am going through, the song “For Once In My Life” would be perfect to describe this time I have with you.

Just this morning, you tried your hardest to wake me up by using your hand to hit my lips, since that is as far as your hand could reach. I had carried you to bed just some time ago as you were fussing, and I still wanted to sleep and did not want to waste precious time trying to soothe you. Yes, you did allow me that extra ten, fifteen minutes, but soon you realised that it was time for both of us to wake up.

I opened my eyes just a little, trying to see who was hitting me on my lips and your eyes grew bigger when you saw that mummy was waking up. And I just had to brush aside my sleepiness ‘cos you were excited to see me and gave me a toothless grin. How could I not wake up after that?

You are becoming more playful and relish in the attention that we give you. Since last week, you realise that standing on your feet is such a fun thing to do, and would smile and jumped with excitement whenever I talk and sing to you. Now, you would participate in a conversation by making all kinds of sounds whenever someone looks you in the eye and talks to you. In fact, you enjoy this so much, that you must have the last “word” before going to sleep. Yes, TJ, you will ooh and aah even to the teddy bear or the picture story board at the side of your bed.

Tomorrow, you will be exactly 4 month old and we will soon return to HK. Your dad has been preparing for your return for a long time now, and he can’t wait to return home to you each day.

So TJ, lots have happened while you are starting on your life’s journey and lots more will happen as you grow up. It is our responsibility, our hope and prayers that you will have many happy memories.

And of course, I wouldn’t mind if you grow up looking as cute as Michael Buble and singing this song to me.

With lots of hugs and kisses,
Daddy and Mummy

Dear Tyler (III)

Come Friday, 16 Nov, you would be exactly 2 months old. It seems not too long ago when you were still in my womb, and now, you are a reality, a living and breathing one.

Because of work, your dad misses you a great deal whenever he returns to HK after spending a week or so with us. He looks forward to seeing and holding you each time he returns, and finds it hard to leave you. You are his favourite person now, and your photos can be found on his mobile and as his MSN display picture. And of course, your dad has been most wonderful during those late night feeds, ‘cos he would be the one to prepare the milk and refill the hot water in the cup when it cooled.

You, on the other hand, enjoy sleeping in your dad’s arms and even on his lap. Last Sunday, you were being difficult and fussing so much and when your dad thought it was safe to put you back on your bed, you cried so hard while trying to grab your dad’s shirt, hair and all. It shocked your dad so much, ‘cos you didn’t want to be separated from him.

Tyler, you are definitely your father’s son… your looks and mannerisms are becoming more like him each day. You tend to stretch your arms and legs alot and when you do that, you would grunt a little and turn red in the face. The other day, when you did that, your dad did exactly the same thing, which I thought was cute. And for a two-month-old baby, you move a lot while you sleep even though you are sleeping on your tummy (cos you startle yourself awake if you sleep on your back). One moment you would kick the thin blanket away from your legs, and another moment you would have moved to another part of the bed. A few times, you woke up crying cos you had reached the opposite side of the cot and had hit your head against it.

I, on the other hand, have spend every waking hour (and those barely awake ones too) with you. Still, I marvel at how you have grown. You are now quite heavy and it doesn’t help that you are still so active, which makes it quite hard to carry you at times. In fact, you enjoy being carried around, not just by me or your dad, but anyone would do.

You are more aware of your environment now, and those big eyes of yours are constantly looking around during the day time. Your cheeks are more puffy, and so are your legs. And you now have a “milk belly”, which when massaged, relaxes you quite abit. You do smile a bit more now, and it seems like you do understand when people talk to you.

Now,  I am “training” you to poo after your 7 am feed, if you hadn’t done your business while drinking your milk. It seems like you know what you have to do when I make the sound that signals it’s time to poo. So far, it has worked a few times.

It will be another few months before we return to HK, and I am looking forward to it since we will be a family again. Maybe you will not remember much, but I know that your 外婆(maternal grandma) and 舅舅(my brother) will miss you lots when you leave, since they have spent so much time with you.

Dear Tyler (II)

Now that you are at a “grand old age” of 30 weeks, and that we have gotten to know each other much better, I suppose it’s time for another letter.

When I wrote the first letter, your dad and I didn’t know whether you were a boy or girl and decided to call you Happy Feet, since I had just begun to feel you move in me. Those were subtle times, lil’ rumbles and “mumbles” even, and I found myself looking forward to feeling you. For one, it’s a confirmation of the fact that you are real. Two, you are assuring me that everything is ok inside. For that, I thank God each day.

Now, your power and strength are quite remarkable for a lil’ fellow. I suppose you do tire me out more so the last couple of weeks. The kicks, punches and somersaults that you do at regular times of the day have now made me stop in my tracks. Not forgetting the fact that you are now my inbuilt alarm clock, kicking me awake at 9am each day. Gone are the days when I will sleep past 11. I suppose those days have disappeared once your dad and I decided to have you.

I know you don’t like it when I sleep on my right side, ‘cos you will give me the subtle pokes. Sometimes I ignore you when you do that, and the pokes will be more intensed, forcing me to roll over to my left, which incidentally is also my favoured position. Well, I just want to ”play” with you and see who will last longer.

The other day at church, when we were singing and the music was loud, you seemed to be having a blast. I could see my entire tummy moving and rolling about and I like to imagine you were dancing in there. I sure hope you grow up to love God and love music, but I know this is something your dad and I have to help you with.

Your dad has been telling you to give me a break and not disturb me too much with your “kungfu”. He will remind you to go to sleep and chill, and frankly, I will miss seeing your dad speak to you when I am alone in S’pore waiting out the last month before you and I actually meet. I just hope you will not forget his voice when you next see him in Oct.

So Tyler, our Happy Feet, it’s been an amazing ride so far. And your dad and I thank you for being in our lives.

Luff
Dad and Mum

Dear Child (I)

  I don’t suppose it is weird to write you a letter now, although I have plans to write you one on your birthday, much like a running commentary of my thoughts and love for you. But today is a special day for your dad and I… five years ago, we were in church, promising that we will be together till “death do us part”. 

  Perhaps it is a tradition that I would like to start in this family, the one that you will be seeing in another 4 months. And I have asked your dad to do the same too, although I believe, his letter will be much shorter than mine.

  You have been good since day one, since I didn’t experience any major issues and in the earlier months, I actually forget that you are in me. I still climbed (but now, my Black Diamond harness will not go round my bulge anymore), did some gym, and just couple of weeks back, I played a short badminton game with your dad’s colleagues.

  Those visits to the gynae were good ones, you ranged from being a small lil’ bean, a 6-oz “steak” to the you now at 21 weeks. Your dad is still interested to know if you are a boy or a girl, and he was astonished to hear your heartbeat for the first time.

  The last few days, I have been reminded of your presence. It’s not just that my pants can’t quite fit me anymore and I feel like I am carrying a basketball everywhere I go. But I have felt you kicked a lot more these few days.

  If I am home, I would place my hand below my tummy (on the right) and wait for your next kick. The first time I am sure it was you, and not my noisy gastric acids, it was on 2 Jun Saturday.

  Last night, when your dad tucked me to bed, you kicked me again. I quickly placed his hand on me and hoped that you would do it one more time. ‘Cos I really want your dad to share this with us too. And when he felt you, his grin was the widest you can imagine and I believe he enjoyed that too. In his lil’ ways, your dad has been speaking to you, touching and kissing you via my tummy.

  I, on the other hand, find it odd to be speaking to you, although I have been blasting all kinds of music so that you will hear them too. Music is something that I love, and I hope that you will grow to love it too.

  Now, your dad calls u his Happy Feet, and I like it.

Luff
Your mum and dad.