First Interview (6 Nov 09 Friday)

So it has come to a stage in our lives that we need to make an important decision, not the most important one, but enough for us to rack our brains over.

School admission… for a 3-year-old, which is considered late by most HK parents’ standards.

Nursery/preschool/Kindy interviews are a norm in HK, most schools (i.e. the private ones and not government-run) conduct interviews at least a year before the start of the new academic year which starts every Sept. There are some which accept kids on a first come first serve basis, but these schools are few and probably not something I would look into as TJ’s first school.

Actually most local HKers send their kids to school at 2 years of age, not cos it’s a childcare arrangement but cos the parents want their kids to start school that early. Period.

And the craziest thing is that getting into a good reputable kindergarten is of utmost importance cos it would determine the kind of primary school that the kid enters later, and subsequently that will also affect the choice of a secondary school too. Parents here tend to put their kids into ThroughTrain schools, so that they don’t have to worry about finding primary or secondary schools later.

Moreover if parents can afford, they would prefer to send their kids to the numerous International Schools from an early age, as the perception is that these schools are much better than the local schools. Here, anyone can get into an International School, as long as you have the moolahs.

S’poreans aren’t as kiasu as Hkers, and when it comes to education, the system here is not meritocratic like S’pore. My hometown’s system may not be the best (is there ever a best system in the world?), but it still has its merits since  I now have something to compare against.

My criteria for TJ’s first school: Bilingual in English and Putonghua (must say “Putonghua” and not “Chinese” cos to Hkers, Chinese is Cantonese), within budget (there isn’t any govt subsidies in HK if parents choose the private schools, unlike back home in S’pore) , morning session (cos TJ naps in the afternoon for about 2.5h) and that TJ doesn’t spend too much time travelling to and from school.

So we submitted our applications to just 2 schools, one that is within 5 minutes walk from our apartment (Think Int’l) and another a bus ride away (YMCA Kindergarten). I know some parents would send in loads of applications to many schools just cos it’s so hard to get in to the school of one’s choice, and it would be statistically logical to cast your nets wide.

We took TJ to his first interview at Think Int’l and it was a really strange affair. Prior to this, I had asked people and read up on the  forum  but still went in blind. For someone who really likes to be prepared for things, this interview was a headless chicken that ran round and round. It would not be honest of me to say that I wasn’t stressed by the thought of my 25 and a half month-old Neanderthal going thru’ an interview, but I was curious to know what the interview entails.

We waited for about 15 minutes before it was TJ’s turn, and were directed to a table (there were 8 other tables) surrounded by 4 chairs, one of which was occupied by the interviewer/teacher.

First question was “What’s your name?” in Cantonese (*roll eyes*) and obviously TJ wasn’t going to to answer to that. D told her that we speak English to him and she tried the same question again in English and he doesn’t say his name either. Actually he doesn’t say his name at all, even though we tried for the longest time. Once when we asked him that same question, his eyes grew as big as saucers, and his look was like, “Are you guys daft or what? You know my name and you still wanna ask?” Can’t blame the kid.

But he answers to “Who is the handsome boy?” by raising his hand.

Then there were the tasks: Putting the pieces back on the puzzle, stacking the cubes on top of the other, colour matching with shapes and threading beads together.

TJ didn’t put the puzzles pieces back to their original spaces, but inspected each piece and placed them neatly on the puzzle board.

He only stacked 2 out of the 5 cubes and decided it was better to arrange the cubes neatly in a rectangular array.

The colour matching exercise didn’t interest him, and he just placed the shapes neatly (again) on the laminated card, and it was a fluke he placed the green shape on the green square.

As for the beads, now that is one high cognitive exercise that I dunno what is the educational rationale behind it (maybe to check on dexterity and if you have an one-track mind). Anyway, the beads resemble this black Agnes B ring that I have, and I know this cos he picked up the black bead and put it near his ear, something that he always does whenever he picks up my ring. TJ put his hands in the mini basket and rolled the other beads around, toyed a little with the rubber thread and just pushed everything aside thereafter.

The interviewer had demonstrated all the tasks to him before giving him the chance to replicate the actions, but TJ did his own thing and I could sense his boredom cos those stuff aren’t interesting to him. In fact TJ was polite enough to sit through this entire interview without fussing and only showed that he was bored by shaking his legs quite abit and looking at the door each time another kid entered the room with his/her parents.

I wasn’t sure what our roles were during the interview. Do I help TJ? Do I show him how to do each task step by step? Do I keep quiet and let him do his thing? Should I throw the things at the interviewer/teacher and growl at the school Principal? Oh I felt like growling at her when she asked if TJ knows colours. I suppose he does, but I don’t think it is an important knowledge to him.

Anyway D and I didn’t help much, I reckon the interviewer/teacher should  be able to see my son for who he is, and to see the merits of what he does even if it is not done in the standard way. I think any parent can train their kid to do similar tasks at home, and would then ”ace’ the interview. But I’m not that kind of parent, and I will not forcefeed my kid with such insanity either.  

I was thinking during the colour matching task: If I had known he was going to be asked about colours, I should have brought his toy vehicles, cos he recognises which is the GREEN motorcycle and the RED fire engine and the BLUE Thomas.

His boredom wasn’t the only thing that I sensed, D’s stress level was hitting me quite hard and after the interview, D felt awful for his son and I had to reassure my older kid that these tasks are crap and it doesn’t mean anything, and definitely doesn’t determine my son’s intellectual level at this age. Besides this silly exercise that we went through wouldn’t have been necessary back home in S’pore, and since we can’t fight the system here, we just had to do it. And well we wouldn’t know if we would be back home end of next year, and if we don’t return, these are just some of the things that we got to do now.

We wouldn’t know the results of the interview till 2 weeks later, and YMCA would only notify us of any interview next Mar, in other words, if a vacancy comes up cos YMCA kindy is more popular. I told D that if TJ can’t get into any school at 3, then let it be. He can enjoy his childhood abit more. Besides, if we do return to S’pore next year, finding a school for TJ wouldn’t be this hard and stressful. So either way, we shan’t stress our lives over this.

I had this urge to punch someone at the interview, and to prove to the interviewer that my son understands our questions, I asked him the ”handsome” question and he promptly raised his hand with a cheeky smile on his face.

And just before we left, TJ blew kisses at the interviewer, waved and said bye. He had pushed his chair out when he got off the chair, and I called him back, “Please push in your chair.” The boy walked back and did exactly what he was told and followed a very pleased mum out of the room.

Bedtime Stories

Well for now, TJ will not be telling the stories and making them come true like the movie with the same name (the one with Adam Sandler). That movie was quite a cute, happy ending kinda movie, not something that I will watch again and again though.

Anyway, ”Dinosaur Roar” is TJ’s current favourite storybook (Many many thanks to Aunty Janis for good taste in books… although he still doesn’t quite fancy the Spider one yet).

I do enjoy this book, ‘cos it has such nice and colourful graphics, short phrases and nice rhymes too. When we first got the book, TJ didn’t quite fancy it and when I tried reading it, he would stop me.

Just before his bedtime, we would read a story or two and usually, TJ would be the one to choose the book for the night. Then one night, TJ picked out “Dinosaur Roar” and it has been his favourite book ever since. And I seriously dunno why he is so tickled by the first page, but his laughter and attentiveness make me willing to read this book night after night. I suppose it wouldn’t be long before I memorise all the words in the book, just like the ones in “The Hungry Caterpillar” (by Eric Carle) and “Goodnight Moon” (by Margaret Wise Brown). Incidentally these books were also gifts from Aunty Janis. You must be very pleased and proud of yourself after reading this.

I am not much of a storyteller, but I don’t think it matters much to my son. He gets a lil’ impatient if I dawdle too long on a particular page and so I can’t always describe other stuff on the page.

We have been reading to TJ since he was about 3 months old at different times of the day, but especially just before bedtime so that TJ knows that bedtime is drawing near. And since then, TJ knows the routine and spending this 5 minutes with him is something that I enjoy as much as him. Rarely have I missed a single night without reading to him, and if I really have to be out that night, D will read to him instead.

I sure hope that TJ loves reading, just like D and I, and this would hopefully transfer to good grades too.

Caps

Both D and I don’t really wear much headgear, although we do have a number of caps and my Aussie Outback Hat that I bought from a shop in the Blue Mountains back in 2005.

But with TJ, it’s a different story. Seems like little kids just look really cute in all kinds of hats and caps. He has a couple of beanies and numerous baseball caps, some of which he has already outgrew. I just think any cap or hat looks darn good on my lil’ fashionista son, though I can’t say the same for his father. Somehow, D just look odd in a cap, not sure why, but maybe cos he has a small head.

On Friday night, we attended this Sunnto product talk organised by PSAI at a cafe in Central and took TJ along with us. Of course TJ would not be able to sit through the entire duration of the talk, and after he got tired to playing with his toys and watched enough cartoons on D’s Zen player, I had to take him out for a walk. (Some pics here)

Fortunately for both of us, H&M is nearby. At first, my son refused to let me go into the store. He shook his head repeatedly and pulled me towards the side of the walkway so that he could watch the vehicles zip by.

But after a couple of minutes of that, I had enough of standing in the humid night and carried TJ into the cool confort of H&M. It was a real oasis for me, and TJ enjoyed playing hide and seek amongst the clothes rack while I made sure that I didn’t lose him. There wasn’t many customers on that level, so I didn’t mind letting TJ run off some of that energy as long as he didn’t get into trouble.

Obviously I couldn’t do any shopping but I entertained myself with putting on different types of caps on TJ and having him walk up and down the “runway”.

I decided to buy the Flat Cap, since it is cheaper now and TJ didn’t mind having it on his head. Well … actually, it’s cos my dear Brad Pitt has been wearing these caps. ;)

TJ’s No-Fuss 2nd B’day

Unlike the Lil’ Gym b’day party that we were invited to last Sunday by D’s colleague whose son (“The Lil’ Prince”) is 2 days younger than TJ, we opted for a simple no-fuss celebration for TJ.

Since D had to attend a talk at night, we had to celebrate TJ’s bday early in the morning before we left for work. So we woke TJ up just a tad earlier than usual, got him to drink his milk and quickly get down to celebrating his b’day. We had bought the cheesecake the night before and I had wanted to get TJ a pressie but couldn’t find anything that I particularly think he would like. Besides we had bought him a number of new toys earlier and he received a KMB double decker toy bus from my helper, which made his day.

Although… I was very tempted to get the Roland digital piano

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are just blessed to have this boy in our life and grateful that he is happy and healthy.

Slideshow of the pics here.

TJ’s Second Year

My baby is turning two in another 52 minutes and I still can’t believe it. He has lost most of his baby fat and not as chunky as he used to be. Physically, he has grown taller and running around much more. TJ is cheeky and has a contagious laughter. He is easily frustrated when he is not able to put the trains together and can be a real screamer. And when TJ wants us all to be near him, he would hold our hands and drag us all onto the beanbag.

There were days which took forever to end, but the year has flown by so quickly. I hope that TJ has had a great year and that we had done well as two-year-old parents.

“What a difference a year makes.”

Crayola Graffiti

TJ prefers the markers than the crayons that I bought for him some months ago. I know this ‘cos the crayons are thrown all over the place and I suppose it’s cos the colours aren’t as bright as the markers.

I had previously taken the recycled A3 and A4 paper from school and had TJ sit on the floor to doodle, but realise he prefers to stand. Since there is no space for an easel at home, sticking those paper on the side of the bookshelf is the next best thing.

In fact, I actually congratulated myself for being a genius, coming up with ways to utilise our little abode.

Anyway, the boy doesn’t stay on this doodling activity for long, maybe 5 minutes or even less, but it’s a way to expose him to art. I am just glad that I bought these washable Crayola markers, cos TJ has a knack at getting the ink all over him and not just on his hands. Actually, between drawing with the Crayolas and singing, TJ prefers to sing… all kinds of cartoon theme songs he has been listening to while watching his cartoons. There isn’t any words, just the tunes, but it tickles us no less when TJ breaks out into a song. Makes our day really.

My son, the next American Idol?!?

InSPECKtor Tan

Not sure what TJ is looking for when he walks up and down along the table and the cabinets.  Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that lil’ brain of his… what exactly is he trying to figure out. I suppose the world is such an interesting place for him now, and because of TJ, I find myself slowing down and seeing the world thru’ his eyes.

@ The Regent (Sheewen & Lisa’s wedding 15 Aug)

@ Aunty J’s place – Any dust?  (Edgefields 7 Aug)

@ Grandma’s place – Shoe Cabinet (Sgn Nth 8 Aug)

@ Grandma’s place – Stroller Wheels (Sgn Nth 12 Aug)

Mister Laidback

My 21-month-old little man is generally laidback and prefers to wait and see. While other kids would be rushing up to the front or running around the gym (and their parents hot on their heels), my boy would just chill. He would do the activity but would not be the first few kids at the front of the queue. At first I thought it is shyness, but then again he doesn’t avoid the activities or people.

Most of the time, TJ needs a little prodding and encouragement, especially if there is a big group of toddlers in front of him. TJ would stop in his tracks, look at me and wait for me to tell him it is ok to go ahead. D and I find that endearing and wonder if he would continue to be that disciplined. It is as if he wants our approval and that is important to him.

Of course there are times he would resist holding our hands when walking about on his own, and kick a fuss when he can’t get out of our iron grip. And when TJ starts to fuss, we would just pick him up and let him rant, until he realises that it doesn’t help cos mum and dad will not relent. One thing that I have been doing since he was crawling about is to give him the leeway and attention when he is actually behaving well, so that TJ can see that he is rewarded for good behaviour, rather than giving him the extra attention when he isn’t.

The other day, I asked D if the reason why my son is not talking in actual words because we understand him pretty well right now. I am thinking maybe that’s why TJ doesn’t see the need to verbalise in English or Mandarin, cos the two most important people in his life are able to figure out his needs and wants well enough. If this was SEM, then we definitely have made his expectations. D thinks maybe , could be….

D and I have thought about whether to send TJ to any playgroups or pre-nursery, but each time, we would think of a good reason why he should not. I know that going to playgroups or pre-nursery don’t mean formal lessons, rather there is the additional social interaction and extra stimulation which can be missing if the kid just stay home. But seriously, TJ is happy and contented playing with his toys and reading his books on his own; my helper is good at playing and interacting with him; and being an educator and a mum, I can’t imagine a better person to teach my son other than me. Sure, I am not home the whole day, but my current part-time arrangement does give me the time to spend with him. The only class that he attends since he was 7 months old is the Lil’ Gym sessions every Saturday.

It’s the same with playdates, I am not that interested with meeting strangers, and for TJ at this age, he is able to play alongside but not with people. So what is the point? It will be a novelty, a change of environment for him, maybe that’s where the stimulation is, but other than that, I am not sure what is so beneficial. I would rather he runs around on his own in the park, chasing butterflies and hearing his glees and shrieks let me know he is really enjoying himself.

The other night, D was fixing the lightbulb and passed TJ the maglite. It was a new toy to him but I think he totally enjoys the new experience. I decided to dim the light and even switch them all off at one point, just so that TJ could enjoy the full intensity of the lone beam of light piercing through the darkness. I tried to tell him about the scientific facts of light, stars and sun etc, not sure if he understood but I think he had fun.

Maybe cos both D and I are laidback people by nature, so not very S’porean. And even if he does attend some kinda class during the week, which we are thinking about, I want it to be just for a couple of hours two or three times a week and with minimal travel time. Preferably walking distance… so checking out the kindy in my area if such playgroup classes will be conducted again after the summer hols. And, from now till then, I am hoping TJ will be toilet trained. That will be a major milestone for TJ and I.

Father’s Day came and went yesterday and we had a simple lunch at TGI Fridays. It was fun seeing TJ having his first taste of french fries, which is something we have avoided giving to him. Since salt wasn’t added onto the fries, I decided this would be the day. TJ had a bit of Buffalo Wings just before that and didn’t want a 2nd bite, most likely he didn’t quite fancy the Tabasco coated wings. But he was gorging on the fries, just stuffing into his mouth and enjoying the new taste. BTW, I will not go back to TGI Fridays again, the food isn’t that great. Should have gone to Outback instead.

Going on to 21

Months, that is, in another week.

I still think of TJ as my baby… even tho’ he will hit the big TWO in another 3 more mths. Not sure if we are going to throw him a big bash, I am thinking of celebrating it a month early in Sgp when we are back for 2 wks in Aug. I have been thinking of different b’day scenarios, big and small, but I am more or less set on a small get-together lunch/tea thing with family.

TJ is growing up nicely and happy most of the time. He does have a nasty temper but is quick to get over whatever is bugging him, except when mummy wakes him up from his nap before he is ready to. He loves his books and magazines and would spend time flipping through them intently, sometimes talking to himself while reading.

D and I think TJ is a lil’ OCD. He would pack his puzzle pieces in the container, pour them out, and re-pack them repeatedly. And he doesn’t like it when I deliberately “tricked” him by putting a different puzzle piece (that isn’t from the same set) into that container, and he would show his displeasure by taking that errant piece and chucking it aside.

TJ shows his affection to his teddy bear and doggie by kissing and hugging them tight. But he doesn’t do that to D and I, no matter how we try to cajole and bribe him. Instead TJ prefers to snuggle with either one of us on the beanbags, sit close to us with at least one part of his body touching us or simply put his forehead on our faces.

Much to his grandma’s chagrin (D’s mum), TJ still doesn’t verbalise much, at least not in the Greek/Latin/English/Chinese languages. Although he does vocalise a lot, and think that we understand him when we don’t, he doesn’t speak in words that I can make out. I just think he speaks very good Korean, cos it sounds like that language. Anyway, it irritates me when someone questions my parenting and asks if I talk to him, implying that I don’t since TJ doesn’t say actual words/sentences/proverbs/idioms/Theory of Relativity. Yeah, don’t u know we just zip our mouths and raises our eyebrows to communicate telepathically 24/7?

Frankly I don’t bloody care, since my son understands what we say, is able to follow instructions (“Brush teeth”, “Comb hair”, “Put the bottle on the table”, “Give the bottle to …”, “Keep your toys/puzzles/books”, “Hold my hand”, “Go find Daddy” etc) and is able to differentiate his Pocoyo book from the Handy Manny one. One thing we are trying to get him to differentiate is that there are other types of vehicles besides ”Bus”, everything that is on wheels is a bus to TJ. Not quite sure why.

I still think of that day when TJ was born and  I always tell D (since he wasn’t present that day) that TJ didn’t cry but just made a lil’ sound to indicate he was not happy to be out in the world 3 wks early. Then my mum came in to the delivery room while I was being patched up, and saw that TJ had his eyes wide open and just kept looking around. Very unlike other kids, she said. Every kid is different, and I am just glad this crazy lil’ dude is mine.

Roles Reversal

TJ likes anything that goes round and round… wheels, tins etc.

He prefers to be the one to turn the Merry-go-round, rather than the one on it. D, being the proud dad, is impressed with his son’s strength and attributes it to good genes. Whatever…