Mister Laidback

My 21-month-old little man is generally laidback and prefers to wait and see. While other kids would be rushing up to the front or running around the gym (and their parents hot on their heels), my boy would just chill. He would do the activity but would not be the first few kids at the front of the queue. At first I thought it is shyness, but then again he doesn’t avoid the activities or people.

Most of the time, TJ needs a little prodding and encouragement, especially if there is a big group of toddlers in front of him. TJ would stop in his tracks, look at me and wait for me to tell him it is ok to go ahead. D and I find that endearing and wonder if he would continue to be that disciplined. It is as if he wants our approval and that is important to him.

Of course there are times he would resist holding our hands when walking about on his own, and kick a fuss when he can’t get out of our iron grip. And when TJ starts to fuss, we would just pick him up and let him rant, until he realises that it doesn’t help cos mum and dad will not relent. One thing that I have been doing since he was crawling about is to give him the leeway and attention when he is actually behaving well, so that TJ can see that he is rewarded for good behaviour, rather than giving him the extra attention when he isn’t.

The other day, I asked D if the reason why my son is not talking in actual words because we understand him pretty well right now. I am thinking maybe that’s why TJ doesn’t see the need to verbalise in English or Mandarin, cos the two most important people in his life are able to figure out his needs and wants well enough. If this was SEM, then we definitely have made his expectations. D thinks maybe , could be….

D and I have thought about whether to send TJ to any playgroups or pre-nursery, but each time, we would think of a good reason why he should not. I know that going to playgroups or pre-nursery don’t mean formal lessons, rather there is the additional social interaction and extra stimulation which can be missing if the kid just stay home. But seriously, TJ is happy and contented playing with his toys and reading his books on his own; my helper is good at playing and interacting with him; and being an educator and a mum, I can’t imagine a better person to teach my son other than me. Sure, I am not home the whole day, but my current part-time arrangement does give me the time to spend with him. The only class that he attends since he was 7 months old is the Lil’ Gym sessions every Saturday.

It’s the same with playdates, I am not that interested with meeting strangers, and for TJ at this age, he is able to play alongside but not with people. So what is the point? It will be a novelty, a change of environment for him, maybe that’s where the stimulation is, but other than that, I am not sure what is so beneficial. I would rather he runs around on his own in the park, chasing butterflies and hearing his glees and shrieks let me know he is really enjoying himself.

The other night, D was fixing the lightbulb and passed TJ the maglite. It was a new toy to him but I think he totally enjoys the new experience. I decided to dim the light and even switch them all off at one point, just so that TJ could enjoy the full intensity of the lone beam of light piercing through the darkness. I tried to tell him about the scientific facts of light, stars and sun etc, not sure if he understood but I think he had fun.

Maybe cos both D and I are laidback people by nature, so not very S’porean. And even if he does attend some kinda class during the week, which we are thinking about, I want it to be just for a couple of hours two or three times a week and with minimal travel time. Preferably walking distance… so checking out the kindy in my area if such playgroup classes will be conducted again after the summer hols. And, from now till then, I am hoping TJ will be toilet trained. That will be a major milestone for TJ and I.

Father’s Day came and went yesterday and we had a simple lunch at TGI Fridays. It was fun seeing TJ having his first taste of french fries, which is something we have avoided giving to him. Since salt wasn’t added onto the fries, I decided this would be the day. TJ had a bit of Buffalo Wings just before that and didn’t want a 2nd bite, most likely he didn’t quite fancy the Tabasco coated wings. But he was gorging on the fries, just stuffing into his mouth and enjoying the new taste. BTW, I will not go back to TGI Fridays again, the food isn’t that great. Should have gone to Outback instead.